The Cold That Ate My Brain

If the brain-eater came over here, it would die of starvation.

"It's just because you're having allergies. And because you've given up caffeine."

Trying to rationalize away a cold can be funny, in retrospect. But it doesn't work so well.

Desperate for anything, I jumped on the stationary bike at my parents' house.

45 minutes and about 2 calories later, I was still sneezing. But at least I was warmer!

Yesterday, I tried the 'no exercise' approach to a cold.

I had to leave my friend's birthday dinner 45 minutes early because I was disturbing the other patrons. Too much sneezing.

So, this morning, after getting up and then going back to bed, to try to sleep through the throat swelling and nose stopping, I was determined. I would run an outer loop of the park. It would cure me.

I got on my shoes. Put on some extra cold-weather gear - thanks, spring! Strode purposefully outside.

Sneeze. Blow. Sneeze. I felt sick throughout my muscles.

How do you describe that feeling? It's like they are a bit gooey, maybe? Too jello-y? Hard to put into words, unmistakable in the body.

"I'm sure I'll feel better!" I exclaimed in my head.

My head said yes but then reconsidered. I went as far as Prospect Park West and then turned around.

Sigh. 3 miles. Fie this head cold!

Fie!