Powers of Concentration

Or, How I Almost Got Hypothermia in a Heat Wave

I started laughing out loud about this on the train this morning and thought I should share a laugh for a Wednesday afternoon.......


Decided to be a bit more aggressive with the ice bath this time.

Timer ready. Hot molasses water a go. (For medicinal purposes. If you're going to torture yourself, why stop with a mere ice bath?!)

"I know." I think. "I'll pass the time by doing puzzles. They help drown out the "Adam had a party, check it out" guy on the 3. They'll have to mitigate the crawly numbness."
This is one of my more brilliant ideas. I nod smugly to myself as I throw open the valve to iciness.

Thunk. The ice is in. (As usual, it had partially melted together while in the 'lukewarmish'-er at the corner store.)

Tap. My thumb starts the game.

I finish one. Get a great time on a hard Sudoku. Start another.

"Hmmm." I pause. This puzzle is taking longer. "Didn't the last one take only eleven? Yet, it's been almost eighteen minutes and I haven't finished this one!"

Hold. On. I just read the suggestions yesterday. "Do not exceed fifteen minutes."

Yes. I am still in the ice bath. Because I am waiting for a stupid timer a full room away, when my puzzles can drown out the screaming mantra of a 3-train conspiracy theorist.

Great idea.

As I pull myself, carefully, out of the bath, unable to feel much of anything below my cropped grey sweatshirt, I have another brilliant thought.

If I were going to play puzzles while taking an ice bath, alone in my apartment, I should probably use the time on my game itself. After all, that would be right in front of my face.

Ah. This sort of critical thinking is why I've got a Ph.D. in philosophy from a top-ranked school.

I can't walk or think properly for about a half an hour. Brilliant.